she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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