he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
