You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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