i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
