I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
