remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
