these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
