well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
