This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
