she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
