i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
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