everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
