my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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