Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
