she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Is Oprah even human
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
