i just had sex bonerless
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
