I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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