Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
