What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
honey bunches of taint.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
