omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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