Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
he was CRYING into my vagina
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
