ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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