so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
