idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
