if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
you never un-have a 4some
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
