Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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