Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
