Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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