She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
