i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
don't judge my taste in strippers
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
