It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
