She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
