I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
