i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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