Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
