bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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