I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
