This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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