Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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