he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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