She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
