I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
