My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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