you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
