i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
