i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Alive.
So much puke
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
