Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
