My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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