i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
