i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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