i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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