allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
