I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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