I forgot how hot balto sounded
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
