That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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